my church is falling apart

It seems like no matter how deep you go, you find that everyone just wants to pick a side. one group likes the music, another group hates the music, someone wants the pastor to speak a certain way, someone else doesn't care for anything he says. Some want the church to be more hip, others want the church to be more traditional.

All in all though everyone takes their sides and defends them to no end. They see their issues as black and white. That's their starting point. A few of them may venture towards grey, even fewer would consider beginning from grey.

I used to believe in black and white, right and wrong, yes and no, my way or no way. Over time i saw my views tending towards grey. I couldn't just say that things had to be one way or another there were just too many factors. and about my church, i've gone through all the possible sides i can take and found that there is no side worth taking.

Taking sides means being black and white. That would be the easy thing to do. but black and white doesn't ever explain it.

Looking at my church. why does someone want the service to be more traditional? what is the real reason? when you really get to the emotional core of their argument, are they really just saying the same thing as the person who wants the hip church? and get to the core of that, is that really what the problem is with the church or is it something different?

The thing is, we rarely get the chance to find the emotional core of an opposing argument. it's a hard thing to do. it's easier just to take a side and assume the worst about whoever takes a different view.

So if we know that there might be something worth learning from all sides, why take a side at all? why not begin with grey?