label me cc

So I took a quiz (via jen) to find out what world view I have.

"You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational."

Cultural Creative 100%
Idealist 75%
Postmodernist 69%
Romanticist 44%
Existentialist 38%
Fundamentalist 13%
Modernist 13%
Materialist 6%

Interesting. I hadn't heard that term until today. I'm curious about the definition. It calls me a "modern thinker", but I scored only 13% on modernist. It seems like if they mean "modern thinker" in the modernist term, then I would have also scored higher on the modernist. right?

What shade of grey will you defend?

That first comment on my last post prompted me to think about how we define black and white. To some maybe Poland was black, Russia was white, Germany grey. Or maybe it was white, grey, black respectively. Or maybe it was all black to some, all white to others. And on which issues are we assigning color to? Which issues matter?

I admit my knowledge of history is limited, but what emerges when you combine all of the blacks, whites, and greys across all the issues involved and all the levels of psyche for all the perspectives both local and global? Grey? How grey?

Now my knowledge of the Bible is no doubt more limited than that of history, so take this as however you'd like. Regarding Jesus, I tend to think he defined grey better than anyone in history. The pharisees would present him with the most clearly designed litmus tests they could think of, tests that would reveal once and for all where Jesus stood. Pick one answer and he'd be siding with them, pick another answer and he'd be siding with the devil. He'd find the third answer. One that restored grey to the conversation.

So if you stand in grey do you stand for anything? That's something I was recently asked. It's tricky because, yet again, that's a black and white question. Define "anything". If the definition of "anything" is left up to me, then I'm for a lot of things. I believe in the rule of law, the sovereignty of God, that pop rocks don't go with guiness and so on. I would even be willing to defend some of those views, especially the pop rocks.

However if, "anything" is the set of assertions that the questioner believes is fundamental to a peaceful existence, then question has become considerably more grey. What assertions matter to that person? Which assertions will stand the test of time?

To further complicate matters, usually what we say we believe isn't at all what we show we believe. This even goes for the deepest religious beliefs.

I know its true for me. Everything I say on this blog is what I think I believe, looking at a broad view of my life you might say that it is true, step closer to the canvas of my life and you'll see the uneven brush strokes, step even closer and you'll find whole swaths of inconsistency, step even closer and you'll see specks and grains of doubt and deception. Take out your microscope and you'll find layers and layers of black and white.

I guess what I'm coming to is this: Everything we think is a summarization. The previous sentence was a summarization. And so is this one. And this one. We have been created fundamentally grey, incapable of having a single boolean thought.

Now with all of that the question becomes, what shade of grey will you defend?

my church is falling apart

It seems like no matter how deep you go, you find that everyone just wants to pick a side. one group likes the music, another group hates the music, someone wants the pastor to speak a certain way, someone else doesn't care for anything he says. Some want the church to be more hip, others want the church to be more traditional.

All in all though everyone takes their sides and defends them to no end. They see their issues as black and white. That's their starting point. A few of them may venture towards grey, even fewer would consider beginning from grey.

I used to believe in black and white, right and wrong, yes and no, my way or no way. Over time i saw my views tending towards grey. I couldn't just say that things had to be one way or another there were just too many factors. and about my church, i've gone through all the possible sides i can take and found that there is no side worth taking.

Taking sides means being black and white. That would be the easy thing to do. but black and white doesn't ever explain it.

Looking at my church. why does someone want the service to be more traditional? what is the real reason? when you really get to the emotional core of their argument, are they really just saying the same thing as the person who wants the hip church? and get to the core of that, is that really what the problem is with the church or is it something different?

The thing is, we rarely get the chance to find the emotional core of an opposing argument. it's a hard thing to do. it's easier just to take a side and assume the worst about whoever takes a different view.

So if we know that there might be something worth learning from all sides, why take a side at all? why not begin with grey?

escaping my name

Somewhere out there is a site baring my name. I spent a lot of time on it. Many weekends and weeknights went into the design, then the redesign, then the redesign after that. Then I started this one.

That other one is still out there, going strong. But there's only so much I can say with my name emblazoned on it. Everything I write on it is a google away from old friends, current friends, future friends, employers, business contacts, etc. So I blog about technical things, general things, things that I would happily tell any stranger.

Not so here. Here, in this space apart, I take advantage of one gift provided by the internet architects. Anonymity. I know it's an illusion. I'm not really anonymous, no doubt I've left thousands of digital bread crumbs leading anyone with the right '3lite skilz' directly to this virtual doorstep.

But as long as that's what it takes to put my name with my writings, I'll take this bit of freedom with a smile--joining the ranks of anonymity (though not talent) with Lewis Caroll, Mark Twain, George Eliot and even Boz.

Welcome.